Choices
by BlackRosedAlice
Summary: "There are points in one's life, where fate and chance do not play a part, but one's self instead. But too often we live those moments, and never realize their significance...until they pass us by." A story about family, growing up and the forgiveness of both ourselves and others. Akihiko/Misaki, Warnings inside. Drama/Hurt/Comfort. Rating may go up. R&R
1. Chapter 1: When the world ends

**Disclaimer**: Junjou Romantica is owned by Nakamura-sensei.

**Warnings: **AU, presence of OCs, Misaki is slightly OOC, but within realms of possibility. Has drama and angst, but won't be over the top (maybe?). Will contain yaoi/BL. However, if you have an issue with BL, then you're in the wrong fandom anyway. Go away.

* * *

><p><span><strong>Chapter 1: When the world ends<strong>

He didn't really notice anything wrong when his parents sat him down carefully on the sofa. He hadn't gotten into trouble at school or anything. When, in fact, he asked if he had done something wrong, his father had shot his mother a sideways glance before replying in the negative.

When his mother explained in simple terms that he was to be an older brother and that his baby sister was growing in his mother's belly, his first reaction had been one of concern.

"You ate my sister?!"

Followed by…

"Are you sure it's a girl?"

The explanation that followed was confusing and mind-boggling, but what he garnered from his amused parents was one, his mother had not eaten his new baby sibling, and that two, he was now a big brother.

"She's yours to protect okay?" his father had said gently. "We'll let you pick out a name for her too."

Takahiro frowned. Kisuke-kun had an older brother that came to pick Kisuke up from primary school, who let him ride on his shoulders and taught him the _coolest_ moves in football.

Gently running a small palm over a small bump on his mother's belly, Takahiro nodded.

* * *

><p>"So have you chosen a name yet?" Takahashi Hana asked her eldest son. His forehead was furrowed into lines, and his lips puckered into a pout as he thought deeply about his unborn sister's name.<p>

"I think so. But I'm not sure. I like mom's name the best, but we can't name the baby after mom. It'd be…weird!"

Hana chuckled as she and her son continued to walk to the local primary school. It was April, and they were well into Cherry Blossom season, making the walk both picturesque and soothing.

Her son watched the falling blossoms with a critical eye.

"Hey, mom…the flowers…they're really blooming prettily aren't they?"

"Hmm…? Yes. They are."

"…Mom, I think I know what to name him."

"Taka-kun, it's your baby sister you know…."

"It's going to be a boy!" he insisted.

Hana just sighed and gave up. Her eldest was as stubborn as they came.

* * *

><p>"You'll be the best older brother ever, won't you Taka-kun?" his mother giggled as she brushed her fingers through his hair, feet propped up as her eldest child lay his ear on his mother's swollen belly.<p>

Her son didn't reply, but the faint nod that she received made her smile. Her hand was pushed away, as Takahiro shot up on the bed.

"Mom! I felt Misaki move! It was like…Like a bump!"

Hana smiled indulgently as he husband hurried from the kitchen at the sound of his son's cheer.

"What?! That's not fair! I haven't felt Misaki move yet!" Dropping the dish towel to the ground, Takahashi Minato fell to his knees in front of his pregnant wife, pressing his ear to his wife's belly.

"Come on Misaki! Move for daddy!"

Takahiro watched his mother laugh hysterically at his father's antics, and he couldn't stop the bursting grin that stretch on this face.

"I can't wait for you to be born lil' bro." He whispered.

* * *

><p>Takahiro was prepared to start screaming in frustration, though he doubted that his parents would be able to hear him over the racket his younger <em>brother<em> was making. That was a surprise his parents weren't prepared for, and Takahiro had been smug for about a month. But that was before Misaki (they didn't change the name picked out. Takahiro had insisted. He had worked too hard to think up a name. They weren't going to waste it!) had come home from the hospital.

That was a scary period. He had been allowed to skip school even though he wasn't sick, and whereby this would usually make him gleeful, the mood had been so somber that he couldn't focus. Where his dad had walked around pale and aged, disappearing to the neonatal ICU whenever he could, and when his mother had been caught crying over the big plastic box that housed his new brother. Where he was only allowed to look _and not touch_ at the tubes that connected from his baby brother's mouth and chest to a small machine that beeped and whirled and made other strange sounds. Which his father had sometimes stared at with intensity that almost scared Takahiro. Where his mother held him on her lap with a death grip that didn't hurt, but let Takahiro know to not squirm and just let his mother hold him.

But then his father started smiling again, and his mother started giggling at some of the jokes on the comics' page of the newspaper, and no longer held him quite so _tightly_ anymore. There were fewer and fewer tubes attached to his little brother, and the day Misaki was removed from that awful plastic box, his father had shed a tear, before explaining to a frantic Takahiro that they were happy tears.

But that was in the past, and Misaki was now home, and stirring up a storm that Takahiro had no idea had been _possible_. How was it that such a small body could make such a loud noise?!

Takahiro groaned and rolled over on his bed, and heard his mother's soothing voice calm Misaki. Exhausted, Takahiro fell back to sleep. He had a test the next day.

* * *

><p>Takahiro scowled at the thought of his <em>baby brother<em>. He almost spat at the words. Misaki had been nothing but a pain since he had come home with his mother those many months ago. He was loud, wrinkly and took all of his parent's attention.

"You're a big brother now."

"You're the responsible one."

He gritted his teeth in irritation as he kicked a pebble down the road to school. His walks with his mother to school had disappeared. He bit his lip. He missed those walks.

"I'm sorry Takahiro, but Misaki he…"

"It's alright mom. I can walk to school." He had replied flatly before running out the door.

His dad seemed to understand and tried to take his mother's place, but he couldn't do it often. Only when he didn't have to be at the office early, making up for lost time when Misaki had been at hospital. When Takahiro got home from school, every time tried talking to his parents, Misaki would act up, and his mother or father would have to rush to calm the infant.

Takahiro sighed. He wanted Misaki to just….not disappear, but…couldn't he be a little less needy?

* * *

><p>"Takahashi Takahiro!"<p>

The sound made him jump up from his masterpiece. Uh-oh.

She was still a beautiful woman, his mother, despite her years and two children; she had kept both her looks and figure. She was looking particularly well dressed today, dressed in a light blue dress and navy colored shawl. At the moment though, Takahiro was more concerns over the stern look on her face looming over him, in spite of her 152cm height (Takahiro was only half a head shorter than her).

"Yes mom?" he asked, as innocently as he could.

His mother's eyes narrowed as she picked up his bawling brother. What a cry-baby.

"What did you do to your brother?"

Takahiro fidgeted slightly under her gaze.

"Nothing…" he mumbled.

"Mm-hmm. So what are you doing with that paintbrush in your hand then?"

Takahiro looked down at the offending hand before whipping the paintbrush behind him.

"What paintbrush?"

"Don't play funny with me young man! Your brother's face is painted green!"

Takahiro bit his lip to stop himself from giggling like mad. Misaki did look absolutely hilarious, especially since he started crying and the snot was making the barely dry pain run. He looked like something from a bad horror movie.

"He fell on a puddle of paint?" he suggested cheekily.

"When he was asleep?!"

Takahiro shrugged.

"Who knows what he gets up to? Maybe he's started sleep walking."

His mother scowled before sighing. "I'm going to get him cleaned up. In the mean time you'll clean the sitting room. You're grounded for the rest of the day."

Takahiro gaped.

"But Mum! I promised to play football with Kenichi later!" he whined.

"Then you'll have to call him to cancel won't you? Maybe this will finally teach you to stop messing with your brother." His mother shot back unsympathetically as she headed towards the bathroom.

Takahiro groaned as he picked up the phone. Stupid Misaki.

* * *

><p>"Minato, do you think we're neglecting Takahiro?" murmured Hana as she prepared for bed.<p>

Her husband looked up at her.

"Huh? I don't think so. We spend time with him and he's well adjusted."

"He doesn't seem to like Misaki though."

Minato smiled. "It's likely just some sibling rivalry. It's normal Hana. I had the same problem with Kaito. Let the boys sort it out themselves."

"I'm worried though." She sighed.

"It'll be fine. You worry too much. If it gets out of hand, I promise to step in. But it's best to let these sort of things deal with itself. Takahiro is a good kid. Let's trust him."

Hana shot her husband a wry smile.

"If you say so then."

"I do." her husband replied with a wink.

* * *

><p>The door bell rang and Hana hurried to get it.<p>

"Keep an eye on Misaki." She called out to her eldest before heading towards the door.

Takahiro grunted in reply as he shot a quick look at his two year old brother before returning to his video game. It was getting to the intense part, and his hands gripped the remote tightly as he navigated his character through the treacherous northern lands of the World of Balance.

There was a sound behind him, which he ignored.

"Onii-san, play wif me?"

Takahiro shook of the small hand that gripped his shirt without lifting his eyes from the gameplay.

"Get off Misaki."

"Pweeaasse…"

"No. Go away."

There was a small whimper that Takahiro barely registered, and the annoying tugging stopped. He was half-way through battling the big boss when a soft bump made him turn around.

He didn't know why he did. Usually nothing short of a power outage could distract him from a boss fight, but for some reason, a niggling itch at the back of his head made him turn.

His swore his heart stopped.

"MISAKI!" he screamed as he threw himself across the living room, pulling Misaki towards him as he turned his back towards the falling vase.

He felt the crash of the vase on his back, a piece of shard cutting into his skin. Takahiro grit his teeth as he curled around the toddler, careful to not crush him.

It was over in less than a second.

"Are you alright Misaki?" Takahiro asked frantically as he scanned Misaki for any injuries.

Misaki gulped a couple of times, before bursting into tears.

Hana heard the scream, and ran towards the living room, fearing the worst as she heard the vase break.

"What happened!" she gasped as she entered the room, her eldest cradling her younger son, who was sniffling into his brothers arms, broken shards of glass scattered across the floor.

Takahiro looked up at his mother, guilt and shame suffusing his face.

"I'm sorry." He gasped. "I was playing….I didn't…Misaki knocked into the book case and…"

Hana, with the unerring understanding of a mother, nodded, and gently pulled the now quiet Misaki from Takahiro. The moment she did so however, Misaki gave out a desperate wail and clung to Takahiro like a life line.

"What…Come on Misaki, let go of your brother. Takahiro, are you hurt?"

Takahiro shrugged, wincing slightly as he stood, Misaki clinging to his trousers.

"Just a little cut I think."

Hana's eyes narrowed.

"Come on."

She led them to the bathroom, and grabbed the first aid kit.

"Take off your shirt and turn around."

She gently inspected Takahiro's back, and indeed there was a small, shallow cut. She applied some antiseptic and a bandage over it.

Throughout this procedure, Misaki clung to Takahiro, occasionally sniffling, but otherwise quiet.

Pulling his shirt back on, Takahiro broke the silence in the room.

"I'm sorry."

Hana didn't need to look at Takahiro's face to know the expression he would be wearing.

"It's okay." She murmured gently back.

"It's not!" replied Takahiro, anger coloring his voice, his back still turned to his mother. "Misaki could have been hurt! That vase…if it hit him…"

"And it didn't" soothed his mother. "It didn't because he had a big brother who protected him."

Takahiro fell silent, his lip trembling as the fear caught up with him.

"I don't think….if something happened to him, I don't think I can forgive myself." He whispered.

Hana chuckled.

"Misaki is lucky to have a brother like you Taka-kun. Besides," she added. "I don't think it's only you." Glancing towards the small figure that clung to Takahiro.

"Mummy no makes Onii-san sad!" sobbed Misaki. "Onii-san fight monster!"

"Misaki!" Takahiro choked as he understood the words, his face flushing.

Hana laughed. Her two boys were going to be fine.

* * *

><p>Years passed, and both siblings grew. Takahiro into a fine young man, and Misaki into a cheerful and hyperactive child. In the summer of Takahiro's eighteenth year, Takahiro woke to a beautiful Monday morning, glad that the summer holidays were finally here; and that university applications were over.<p>

"So have you decided where you're planning to apply to?" Hana asked across the breakfast table.

Takahiro smiled.

"Yep. I'm pretty set on getting into Mitushashi University. It's got an excellent business faculty; one of the best in the country; and more importantly, it's fairly close to home, which means I'll be able to visit often."

"So you're planning on moving out?"

"Yeah. I've some money saved up and I was thinking of moving into the dorms…"

"Morning…" muttered a sleepy eyed Misaki as he entered the dining room, rubbing his eyes lazily.

"Misaki! Good morning!"

Takahiro teared up.

"Misaki! I don't want to leave you!" he gasped as he picked up his now eight year old younger brother, and hugged him.

"Eh? Nii-san? What happened?"

"Nii-san is going to university soon." Moaned Takahiro. "And I'm going to miss you soooo much!"

"Nii-san! Put me down!" cried Misaki as Takahiro spun him in the air. "Dad! Help!"

Minato just looked on with a laugh.

"Hey, he's your brother not mine."

"Nii-saaann…." Whined Misaki, and Takahiro relented, returning Misaki to ground.

Once the family was seated around the table once more, the morning conversation turned to Minato's upcoming business trip.

"It's a formal dinner, so I'll be bringing your mother along. She needs a break as well."

"Eh? You're both going?" asked Misaki mournfully.

Hana nodded.

"It's an important event for your father, and I'd like to be there as well. Besides," she added slyly, "I'm sure Misaki won't mind Taka taking care of him for a couple of days."

"Oh I'm sure Misaki won't mind at all." Takahiro said with a wink towards his brother.

Minato snorted. His two boys were thick as thieves and he couldn't be prouder.

"So when are you leaving?"

"Wanting to get rid of us already?" laughed Minato. "We'll leave next week."

"…I wish you didn't have to go."

Hana smiled. Her youngest had always been rather clingy. She may as well enjoy it while she could.

"We'll be sure to bring back lots of presents for you." She bribed. "You'll have a wonderful time with just you and your brother, and before you know it we'll be back."

Misaki smiled back uncertainly, an uneasy feeling in his belly.

* * *

><p>"His temperature isn't coming down." Muttered Hana worriedly.<p>

Misaki, despite his premature birth, had always been a healthy child. Apart from the odd sniffle, he was hardly ever sick. In fact, Hana could count on one hand the number of times he had to be kept from school due to an illness.

However, like all children who rarely get sick, when Misaki got sick, he got _sick_.

"The doctor assured us that it's just a bad bout of the flu." comforted Minato. "He'll be fine Hana."

Hana scowled at her husband before changing the cold compress on her son's forehead.

"Stop looking at me like that. I'm a mother. It's my right to worry about my child when he's sick."

"And that's why I love you." Replied Minato with a smile. "But, he'll be _fine_ Hana. Takahiro's fully capable of taking care of him, and if anything goes wrong, there's always an emergency number to call. We're only a drive away.'

Hana sighed.

"Mom…don't go…" whimpered Misaki as he clung to his mother.

"Shh…it's okay. I'm here."

"You're not gonna disappear?"

"No. I'll be here for as long as you need me to." Whispered Hana, running her fingers through his hair.

* * *

><p>"I'll take care of him" reassured Takahiro for what seemed like the thousandth time. "I've got the phone number for the doctor, and if anything goes wrong, I'll call him. He's almost better anyway."<p>

"Please don't go…" sobbed Misaki as he clung to his father.

Minato looked torn between moving towards the car or returning to the house.

"Please, Misaki, we'll bring you loads of presents." Coaxed his mother.

Misaki shook his head, burrowing deeper.

"Misaki, they'll be fine." Takahiro said gently as he smoothly untangled Misaki from his father's arms.

"We'll hurry home."

Misaki perked up at that.

"You _promise?_"

Minato nodded.

"We'll be home in time for dinner tomorrow. We promise."

* * *

><p>The rumble of thunder punctured his dreams enough to rouse Misaki from consciousness. He yawned and stretched, idly noting the sound of pouring rain outside his window. Glancing next to him, he found Takahiro sleeping on a futon on the floor, his glasses and phone next to him.<p>

Last night had been fun. Takahiro had made, or rather, _tried_ to make, spaghetti, while Misaki watched, fascinated. The sauce and meatballs had turned out rather inedible. Takahiro had magically added too much salt and had mistaken the wine for soy sauce. As such, the two had turned to instant noodle instead, waiting the five minutes it took for the kettle to boil and the noodles to cook. Then, they had watched Misaki's favorite action movie, before Takahiro had made him take his medicine, and tucked him into bed.

Another crash of thunder roused Misaki from his reverie and he got up quietly from his bed, tip toeing around his still sleeping brother and out of his room. Yawning, he went through his morning routine, relieved that he felt better. He tried speaking, but his voice was still a bit raspy. The clock on the mantle read ten in the morning.

While he was in the kitchen putting the kettle on, the phone rang, masked slightly by the pitter-patter of the rain outside.

Automatically moving to pick it up, Misaki wondered who would phone so early in the day.

"Hello, this is the Takahashi residence."

"Hello. This is Sergeant Yamato. May I ask if Takahashi Takahiro-san is at home?"

Misaki fidgeted. Lying was bad he knew. But…Nii-san was sleeping, and he didn't want to wake him up. And besides, it's a policeman. It's not a bad man. Surely it'll be fine.

"I'm Takahiro." He said into the phone, biting his lip guiltily. Hoping he wouldn't be sent to jail for lying to Mr. Police-man.

"I see. Takahashi-san, I'm afraid I have some bad news…"

As Misaki listened his face grew paler and paler. He tried speaking, but no words would come out. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think…

"Hello? Takahashi-san? Are you still with me?"

Misaki swallowed.

"Yes." He replied with a croak.

"I'm sorry. I know it must have been a shock for you, but I need you to come down to the coroner's office at the hospital. The bodies are there. "

"Misaki? Are you up already? Who's on the phone?" yawned Takahiro as he entered the hallway. One look at his younger brother's face and Takahiro was wrenching the phone receiver away from him.

"This is Takahashi Takahiro speaking. May I know who this is?" he asked sharply.

"Wait...what? I'm sorry, my name is Sergeant Yamato. Who was on the line just now?" came the confused reply.

"You were speaking to my younger brother. May I ask why you called?"

There was a silence on the line before Sergeant Yamato began speaking once more.

"Takahashi-san, I've already told your younger brother, but I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. Your parents were involved in a car accident off the northern highway. I'm sorry to say that they are dead."

**A/N: This idea has been in my head for a while now and has seriously been distracting me! I had to write it out. I've already got chapter 2 and 3 ready (I forced myself to finish writing them beforehand so I wouldn't have such a lag time between chapters). I'll try to post weekly, but I'm not very good at keeping to a schedule. **

**Anyway, so here's my first Junjou Romantica fic! I've written a story for Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, so a little self-plug here, but if you enjoyed this fic so far, please check it out as well. Regardless, I hope you liked the story so far. The first two chapters will be focusing on Misaki and Takahiro. Akihiko will come in a little later. **

**If you enjoyed the story, don't forget to leave a review, and please favourite and follow. **


	2. Chapter 2:Takahiro's choice

**Disclaimer**: Junjou Romantica is owned by Nakamura-sensei.

**Warnings: **AU, presence of OCs, Misaki is slightly OOC, but within realms of possibility. Has drama and angst, but won't be over the top (maybe?). Will contain yaoi/BL. However, if you have an issue with BL, then you're probably in the wrong fandom anyway.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2: Takashiro's choice<strong>

Takahiro replaced the receiver with a click. His knees collapsed underneath him and he crumbled to the floor.

'This is a nightmare isn't it?' he thought rather blankly. 'It's not true right?'

"Nii-san…"

Misaki's voice made him look up dully. His coat was pushed into his arms along with his keys, wallet and phone.

"Nii-san, we need to go to the hospital. Mum and Dad are there aren't they? They are at the cor-ro-nor's office? We need to get them back."

"They're dead…"whispered Takahiro. "They're dead…"

"Nii-san…?"

"They're dead and we're not going to get them back!" shouted Takahiro. The tears finally coming, streaming down his face, his hands balled into fists.

Misaki flinched back at his loud voice.

The sudden movement made Takahiro blink and he paled.

"Sorry. I'm so sorry Misaki. I just…come here." He murmured. Misaki walked forwards tentatively before Takahiro pulled him close into a death hug. Misaki closed a small fist around his brother's back. He felt his shoulder get wet and muffled sobs pierced through his heart, the pain making his eyes water.

Takahiro didn't know how long he sat there, clutching the young body. But when he stood, his knees cracked and his back was sore.

"Misaki…come on. Let's go pick up mom and dad." He whispered as he picked up his younger brother, carrying him to the door.

* * *

><p>"We don't recommend bringing your brother in Takahashi-san." Cautioned the wizened old coroner as he led the two brothers to the mortuary.<p>

Misaki bit his lip and shook his head.

"I want to see mum and dad." He whispered, hiding behind Takahiro's trouser legs.

Takahiro looked torn but finally shook his head at Misaki.

"Wait outside Misaki."

Misaki bit his lip but allowed his brother to be led away from the waiting room.

* * *

><p>The coroner grimaced as he pushed open the door. A blast of cold air and formaldehyde greeted them, making Takahiro shiver.<p>

"I'm sorry. As I said, the bodies…aren't in the best condition. We…need to do an autopsy on them. After which the bodies will be returned to you for a funeral."

Donning a pair of surgical gloves, the coroner pulled back the white sheet covering the head and shoulders of the bodies.

Takahiro wanted to vomit and throw up, but instead he simply looked at the familiar yet oddly foreign looking faces in front of him, an unnatural white in death.

"That's my parents." He whispered.

The coroner nodded and gently passed him two forms.

"I just need you to sign here and here."

Takahiro followed the instructions mechanically, eyes riveted to the large ugly gash on his mother's once beautiful face; that ran down from her forehead to her chin, bisecting her eye. The top half of her scalp had been shorn off.

"Is there anything that can be done for her face?" he asked faintly. He couldn't let Misaki see this.

The coroner frowned as he followed Takahiro's gaze.

"Ah. Yes." He sounded rather pained. "I'm sorry. But we don't have an embalmer with us at the moment. The closest one is in Kyoto. I can repair it best as I can, but…"

"It's alright. Thank you." Takahiro turned away from the corpses. His parents were dead.

The coroner nodded in quiet sympathy for the young adult before covering the faces once more.

* * *

><p>Misaki was clentching his hand so tightly that he could feel his nails dig into the palm of his hands painfully; knowing without looking that there would be crescent shaped marks on his palms the next day. His knuckles were white and his fingers felt stiff from the position.<p>

"They're really gone aren't they?" he whispered as he stared at the billowing smoke coming from the chimney of the crematorium.

Misaki had been allowed to join in the bone-picking ceremony, but now, he waited as his brother finished up some remaining business.

The funeral had been small out of both necessity as well as his parent's wishes. Both Hana and Minato had few relatives but several close friends; whom had walked up to both children and given their sympathy along with their condolence money to Takahiro before saying their last goodbyes to the sealed coffin. Some of Takahiro's friends had come too, a silver-haired one in particular had stood out as he had pulled his brother into a hug; his condolence money envelope thicker than the rest.

Uncle Kaito and his wife, Aunt Hinata had come down several days before the ceremony and had helped the frantic Takahiro make the necessary funeral arrangements.

Takahiro was walking towards him now, holding two boxes, holding his parents ashes and bones.

"We need to bury them now." Takahiro said to Misaki gently.

Misaki nodded mutely and Takahiro felt his heart clench with worry. Misaki didn't talk much anymore and it worried him. The once hyperactive, bubbly child had become reclusive.

"Come along then." He coaxed.

* * *

><p>"Takahiro-kun, are you free now?"<p>

Takahiro looked up from his computer to see his uncle at the door.

"Yes. Of course. Is there anything you need Uncle?"

Kaito entered the bedroom, sitting down heavily on the bed. He felt old. He had thought he and his brother would have a long time still. Thought that they would settle down near each other in their old age, and he'll be able to watch his sister-in-law fuss over her grown children.

He never thought that he would be picking up the phone at four in the afternoon, being told by that his brother and his wife was dead by their eldest son, whose voice trembled and cracked. He and his wife had jumped on the first plane down to Tokyo. He had helped Takahiro deal with the funeral arrangements (because it was a harsh world where an eighteen year old had to plan their parents wake) and the well-wishers.

It had been a difficult few weeks, as Takahiro had been adamant in doing his duty as the eldest son, and had done as much as he could. Kaito's wife had taken to babysitting Misaki, and cleaning the house while she was there.  
>But now it was all over. The relatives and friends were all gone, leaving behind just him, his wife, and his brother's children.<p>

"Have you thought about what happens from here?" he asked.

Takahiro sighed.

"I'm not sure uncle. I've looked through the accounts left behind and we have enough to pay off the mortgage on the house. But…I may not have enough to go finish university. I can try getting a job but…"

Kaito frowned.

"Takahiro, you should go. Mitsuhashi isn't an easy place to get into, and you did well in the entry exams."

Takahiro shook his head.

"Perhaps. But I need to take care of Misaki as well, and that means that I'll have limited time to get a job. It just doesn't work out."

"I can loan you some money…"

But Takahiro was already shaking his head.

"I can't ask you to do that Uncle. You already paid for all the funeral arrangements, and Aunty is expecting a child soon. You're already in a tight situation."

Kaito almost wanted to groan in frustration. His eighteen year old nephew should not be worrying about money and raising a child. But as it was, they were all stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Takahiro smiled slightly at the worry on his uncle's face.

"It's alright. I can put myself through university later on. I might even do it part time."

"What if…" Kaito fell silent. He and his wife had talked about it, and they were both keen to do it, but Kaito had felt that Takahiro would be crushed if he brought it up. However, if Takahiro was planning to give up going to university to care for his brother…

"There is another option." He said finally. "I've talked over it with your aunt, and we've agreed that we'd love to take Misaki in to live with us."

Takahiro's head shot up.

"What?!"

"We mean it. Takahiro, it's a shame to waste your intelligence. It's too much pressure on you to raise your younger brother. If we take him in, we can provide him with a family."

"But…"

"Think about it alright? Just remember it's an option as well." Reminded his uncle.

Takahiro closed his eyes and nodded, neither adults noticing the small shadow that stood near the door.

* * *

><p>Misaki's eyes flew open in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, a cry on his lips, heart beating rapidly, his breathing short. His muscles felt unpleasantly stiff from the tension within them, and he carefully relaxed them, wincing internally as the soreness woke him up fully.<p>

His mouth was dry and sandy, and he gagged slightly, his stomach churning at the images and sounds that were already rapidly fading into the realms of Morpheus. Misaki shuddered as he sat up in bed, clambering out with all the grace of an eight year old. He stumbled out the door to the kitchen, intent on stopping the trembling in his limbs with a glass of water, squinting as his pupils dilated painfully in the kitchen light.

"Misaki? Why are you awake?"

Misaki jumped and flinched away at the hand that fell on his shoulder. Spinning around he came face to face with his older brother. His uncle wearing surprised look while clutching a cup of tea.

"Are you alright?" An edge of worry creeping in to Takahiro's voice at Misaki's silence.

Misaki swallowed . His brother could always tell if he was lying or sad. And right now…he really needed to stop this tight squeezing in his chest.

"My fault." He croaked.

"Sorry?"

"It's my fault that mom and dad are dead. I asked them to hurry home in the rain. They're dead because I made dad promise. I killed them." His voice rising hysterically.

Takahiro choked in horror, Kaito making a sound of shocked disbelief.

"NO! No Misaki! It's not your fault! Whatever made you think that?!"

Misaki shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes.

"But…but if I didn't ask dad to…"

Takahiro, recognizing an impending break-down pulled Misaki into a hug, allowing the small head to relax into his shoulder, whispering inane platitudes and gentle reassurances in his ear. Slowly, Misaki's sobs cleared, and his breathing evened out. Gently cradling his younger brother, Takahiro picked up the young body and headed towards his room.

Laying his brother on the soft bed, Takahiro ran a hand through the dark hair tiredly.

"It's not your fault Misaki…" he whispered into the dark room. But looking at the tear-stained face in front of him, Takahiro wondered whether Misaki would ever believe him.

Near the door, Kaito looked at the small broken figure, and his heart ached for his young nephew.

* * *

><p>"How is he?"<p>

"He's asleep." Replied Takahiro wearily. His brother's emotions had exhausted Takahiro's own. "I don't know what to do."

Kaito grimaced sympathetically before taking a long draught of lukewarm liquid.

"Takahiro, have you thought about letting your aunt and I adopt Misaki?"

Takahiro bit his lip and shook his head.

"I'm still not sure…" he said uncertainly.

"Look Takahiro, my wife and I will be able to provide a family structure for Misaki, and though we'll never be able to replace your parents, I think that we'll be able to spend the time necessary with Misaki to help him overcome his guilt."

"Do you think I won't be able to?" asked Takahiro with a frown.

Kaito shook his head.

"It's not the same Takahiro. You have your own problems to deal with as well. You're starting university soon. And you shouldn't have to bear the burden of raising a child on top of that. Hinata can spend time with him, and with the baby coming, we might be able to give him a taste of what parents feel like."

Takahiro sighed. His uncle made good points and if it was what was best for Misaki then maybe…

"I'll tell him tomorrow." He said quietly.

Kaito nodded.

"Do you want me to be there?"

Takahiro nodded.

"Might make things easier."

* * *

><p>Misaki stared numbly at this brother. He felt as if a bucket of ice cold water had been poured over his mind, freezing it.<p>

"Misaki, did you hear me?" asked Takahiro carefully. "Are you okay with this?"

"Misaki, your aunt and I have talked about it, and we'd love for you to come live with us." Added his uncle.

Misaki nodded. His throat felt like it was plugged with a solid lump and he swallowed.

"Are you sure?" there was a hint of fear in the question, and Misaki hurried to nod more reassuringly.

"I...I see then." Takahiro said with a rather forced smile. "I'll miss you a lot, but I think it's for the best too."

His uncle smiled brightly, and gently wrapped an arm around his nephew.

"I won't separate you two. Takahiro will come visit as often as he can. And think about it. Aomori is a beautiful place and you'll be able to have a fresh start."

Misaki nodded. He felt like a marionette, with his strings being pulled around his head.

Takahiro searched his brother's face for a long minute before exhaling softly.

"Alright then. You'll go with uncle when he leaves next week."

* * *

><p>He didn't have much luggage. Just a few changes of clothes, a few books and a dark wooden box. Uncle Kaito had promised to buy anything else that was needed.<p>

Takahiro felt queasy to his stomach at the hunched back of his brother.

Misaki was leaving.

Takahiro would only see him during school holidays. Maybe once a month at best.

Misaki was _leaving._

It was for the best. Uncle Kaito and Aunt Hinata would be able to provide the stability and home life that an eighteen year old could only hope to give.

_His brother_ was leaving.

"Well, Misaki, this is it. Go say good bye to your brother." Called Kaito to the child.

Takahiro wound an arm around Misaki, for what felt like to be the last time, wishing desperately that he never had to let go.

"Take care Misaki. Be a good boy. Call me if anything happens…" his voice trailed off as he choked on his words.

A quick call from his uncle and Takahiro reluctantly let go of Misaki. Misaki looked at him with desperation in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, before immediately snapping it shut.

One last quick hug and Misaki was walking towards the car, dragging his feet, and walking away from his childhood home.

Something in Takahiro broke at the sight.

"Wait!" screamed Takahiro. Misaki froze in his steps.

"Misaki!" Something in his tone made Misaki's heart jolt and he turned to run straight into his brother's open arms.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…" whispered Takahiro as he held on to his younger brother, stroking his soft black hair with a tenderness that Misaki thought only his mother could match.

"Uncle Kaito…I…I can't…I'll quit university and get a job. I just…"

Kaito exhaled heavily at his two nephews. To them, they were the only family they would ever need in the world. Carefully, he replaced the luggage on the front steps before turning to the younger of the two children. He bent down to be face to face with the young boy.

"Misaki, you need to make sure you're a good boy for your brother alright? Make sure not to cause him any trouble."

Misaki nodded fervently. Anything to let him stay.

"Promise?"

Misaki nodded once more and whispered his first words in a long while. His voice was croaky and whispery, but held the unmatched resolve of a desperate child.

"I promise."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, that's chapter 2. Hope you all liked it. Thank you to the kind guest who reviewed; BabyDoll98 and WordsShaterSouls who favourited this story; and Dotted-Daffodil and jojojulz for following. I hope you all continue to support this story, and I'm dedicating this chapter to you all. **

**Please read and review, favourite and follow if you enjoyed it. **


	3. Chapter 3: Akihiko's choice

**Disclaimer**: Junjou Romantica is owned by Nakamura-sensei.

**Warnings: **AU, presence of OCs, Misaki is slightly OOC, but within realms of possibility. Has drama and angst, but won't be over the top (maybe?). Will contain yaoi/BL. However, if you have an issue with BL, then you're in the wrong fandom anyway. Go away.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3: Akihiko's choice<strong>

He could say that it was easy. That if felt right. That he was sure of himself. That Misaki was the perfect child.

He could say that he was never tempted to just give up. That he never for a moment doubted himself.

But that would be lying.

Because Takahiro did doubt himself.

Because he sometimes asked himself in the dead of night if he was doing the right thing.

Because it was _hard_.

Because raising his younger brother at the tender age of eighteen was, and perhaps forever will be, the single most difficult thing he had had to do.

Things were rough at the start, as both brothers adjusted to their new roles as orphans. It took a long while for Misaki to stop flinching at the sound of the phone; and it had taken a year for Takahiro to be able to sleep through a thunderstorm.

There was a change in their relationship as well. Takahiro had stepped up from being the free-fun loving brother to a responsible authority figure; and Misaki learnt to fend for himself in ways an eight year old should never have to.

Between the two of them, they quickly figured out that Takahiro wasn't just incompetent at cooking; he was a menace. Misaki had once elegantly described his food as 'the Japanese government's secret biohazard weapon'; while Takahiro learnt that putting foil wrapped meals in the microwave resulted in said microwave turning into an indoor chimney. So when Misaki had dusted off his mother's old cook books and started making food that looked passably edible, neither males complained.

They learnt that the bathroom did not have an in-built cleaning mechanism, no matter how far technology had progressed; and that clothes needed to be washed and dried before they could be worn. That rooms not dusted made Takahiro's eczema act up; and that the flowers needed to be watered regularly.

While they had initially thought to split the housework, the reality was that Misaki had a lot more free time than Takahiro did. It started with an extra chore here and there, but over time, Takahiro didn't notice that his shirts never dwindled no matter how long he forgot to do the laundry, and that his eczema didn't flare up any longer. And though Takahiro never intended for it to happen, but he was so busy learning the ropes at this new job, that he didn't notice the subtle changes that were happening under his very nose. How Misaki seemed to know when the garbage man came and when the supermarket sales were on. How Misaki had taken to listening to the weather reports first thing in the morning, and how simply made bento boxes were finding their way to Takahiro's bag.

But by the time he noticed it, the cuts and burns and bruises that had once born the evidence of Misaki's many trials and errors had faded; leaving behind calluses that were seen more on the hands of housewives then eight year olds.

And so life continued on.

Takahiro worked hard at his job and his efforts were rewarded. His intelligence and amiable nature winning him many favours as he climbed through the ranks. When Misaki turned twelve, Takahiro enrolled in an online business course, completing his childhood dream, though not quite in the same way he had hoped for. The day his certificate came in the mail, Misaki was perhaps even more excited than he was, and had insisted that they got it framed; hanging it proudly in the sitting room in a place of honour.

Misaki on his part, studied hard at school, though to his dismay, found that despite his efforts, he wasn't as inclined as Takahiro was at science based subjects. But through sheer stubbornness and grit, he managed to pull very respectable grades, and Takahiro was proud of him. When he turned fourteen, despite Takahiro's protest, Misaki got a job working at the local bakery.

So together, the two siblings kept busy, and found comfort and companionship in one another. With time, the emptiness in their hearts were filled, though their lives never returned to what it once was. They had their ups and downs. As with all siblings, they fought on occasion. And sometimes, there were days when Takahiro had just wanted to lie down on his bed and never wake up.

But despite all the trials and tribulations, Takahiro never regretted his choice that day.

* * *

><p>"Takahashi-san, this is Takahashi Misaki's home room teacher, Sawada. I'm just calling to confirm that you will not be attending tomorrow's parent-teacher meeting?"<p>

Takahiro groaned silently.

"I'm sorry, I haven't heard about this. Could you tell me more?"

There was a pause on the line before the teacher coughed.

"I'm sorry Takahashi-san. I hadn't realized that. Takahahi-kun had informed me that you will not be attending due to work commitments and that he was happy to deal with everything. But it sounds like you were not informed."

Takahiro winced.

"Yes. I will have a talk to him when I return home today. I apologize on his behalf. If you could tell me the details?"

"Of course Takahashi-san. If you could attend the student pathway meeting tomorrow morning at 10am, to discuss Takahashi-kun's future?"

Takahiro glanced at his schedule and almost exhaled. Hopefully the meeting would be over before his date with Manami.

"That wouldn't be a problem."

"Good. Thank you Takahashi-san. It is recommended that you discuss future pathways with Takahashi Misaki-kun before coming to ensure that the discussion goes smoothly."

"I will do that. Thank you for contacting me Sawada-sensei."

"Not at all Takahashi-san. It's comforting to hear that you are concerned about your brother's education."

Takahiro smiled wanly before replying.

"Sometimes it's difficult to be involved with such an independent brother."

There was a chuckle over the phone.

"Indeed. Very well, I'll see you tomorrow Takahashi-san."

"I'll see you tomorrow Sawada-sensei."

* * *

><p>"I'm home!" called Takahiro.<p>

"Welcome back, Aniki." Misaki replied, voice travelling from the kitchen. "Dinner's almost ready. I've run the bath for you, so go take a shower first."

Takahiro nodded to an invisible man before heading towards the bathroom as instructed, leaving his bag and coat in his room on the way. Quickly stripping and showering, he couldn't stop the small moan as he sunk into the hot bath water to soak; feeling the tension in his muscles relax. As was his habit, his mind ran through the events in his day, and he made a note to talk to Misaki about the parent-teacher meeting.

'_I thought I trained him out of his annoying habit of not telling me things'_ thought Takahiro rather mournfully. Misaki's fear of confrontation and causing trouble for other people had only started after his parent's death; and Takahiro often felt guilty for enabling it by even _considering_ Uncle Kaito in his Aomori home as a guardian for his brother. Memorable moments included when Takahiro had realized in Misaki's third year middle school that he had never had to sign an approval form for Misaki to go on the annual school trip. When asked however, Misaki had simply shrugged and said that the school trip wasn't compulsory and that was that. Events such as the one that morning weren't new or indeed surprising; but while in primary school, he had received phone calls from the teachers directly regarding meetings and events, this dropped dramatically in middle school and were practically non-existent in high school. Half the time, Takahiro would only learn of the event after it was over; and despite his nagging, scolding and his best puppy-dog face, Misaki wouldn't budge.

"You're busy enough." He had said stubbornly. "And half these events aren't even important, and most of them are on weekends. You should sleep in instead."

A knock on the bathroom door roused him from his reverie.

"Aniki, dinner's ready."

"Coming." He called out in reply before dragging himself out of the bath and toweling himself dry. Takahiro had decided long ago to support Misaki no matter what he wanted to do, though he would prefer if Misaki went to university and got a good education. He was lucky that Sawada-sensei had called him. Misaki would have decided on his future alone, and facing the future alone was something that Takahiro never wanted Misaki to go through.

Takahiro smiled slightly as he stepped towards the dining room. The smell of curry permeated that air, just the way his mother use to make it. The soft sound of idle humming reverberating around the walls, tempered by the clinking of utensils.

"So curry tonight?"

Misaki shot him a cheerful smile.

"Yup. They were having a chicken sale at the market today so I thought I'd make some. I made extra so you'll be having it for lunch tomorrow."

Takahiro grinned.

"I think Manami's jealous of your cooking." He said with a chuckle.

Misaki just rolled his eyes as the two brother sat down for their evening meal.

"Itadakimasu." Murmured Misaki before digging into the meal. Takahiro mirrored his actions and for a while, there were only the sounds of utensils clinking against plates.

"Misaki, your homeroom teacher called today."

Misaki froze, before continuing on like nothing happen.

"I see. You don't have to attend you know. I can deal with it…"

"Misaki, I_ want_ to be there."

Misaki sighed, laying down his cutlery.

"There's not much point. I've already decided to try and enter Mitsuhashi University's business faculty."

Takahiro frowned.

"You don't have to push yourself…"

Misaki was already shaking his head.

"You've sacrificed so much to allow me to enter university. Although it won't be the same, I want to be able to walk the path that you chose to leave."

"Misaki, I don't regret it."

"But…"

"You should do what you want." Chided Takahiro gently. "I'm really happy that you feel this way, and if you do want to go to Mitsuhashi University, I certainly will support you, but you should do it because _yo__u _want to. Not because of me."

Misaki fell silent and nodded.

"I do want to do this Nii-san."

Takahiro nodded.

"Alright then. Then we'll see what needs to be done."

* * *

><p>Sawada-sensei sighed internally as he looked at the impassive young man and his worried older brother next to him.<p>

"It's not unattainable." Assured Sawada-sensei. "Misaki-kun will need to put more a little more effort into his mathematics; and perhaps focus more on his English and Japanese literature; but if he does, it will definitely help with his application. If you're aiming for business, I'm afraid they do require a minimum grade of 90% on both English and mathematics. Your impressive grades in home economics, history and accounting unfortunately isn't quite enough."

"Why so high? I don't remember having prerequisites when I was applying."

"They've changed the system about three years ago, and Mitsuhashi University wanted its' students to be better equipped at dealing with international businesses as well; hence the minimum grade for English. And mathematics has always been important in business, but it wasn't until 5 years ago that the application process had changed from a general paper to papers on specific subjects."

Takahiro sighed.

"What do you recommend?"

Sawada-sensei frowned.

"Personally, I would recommend getting a tutor in these subjects, just for this year. And maybe consider quitting your part time job as well."

Misaki frowned.

"I don't think..."

"Misaki, I think you should. I can arrange for a tutor, and it's an important year for you."

Misaki bit his lip as he weighed his options. It didn't look like much of a choice. He nodded.

Takahiro smiled.

"Don't worry about it. I've got just the person in mind for you."

* * *

><p>Several weeks passed and Misaki handed in his resignation at the bakery. The owner was sad to see him leave and promised him a job anytime he wanted to come back; and had subsequently wished him luck in the entrance exam. Misaki had thanked the owner for his care, and he had then been plied with a large bag of freshly made pastries and bread before being sent on his way home.<p>

Walking down the road leading to his house, Misaki gave a sigh as he flipped open his results for the mock University entrance exams. Misaki winced at the borderline C ranking for Mitsuhashi University. It wasn't good enough. No where near good enough. True, during the week leading up to the exam he had been busy. The bakery had had a promotion sale and Misaki had been working overtime to help out; and Takahiro had managed to fall sick the day after the parent-teacher meeting; so Takahiro had to take care of him (despite Takahiro's protesting). Manami had been a god-send during that rather hectic period. But the cumulative stress from the parent-teacher meeting; guilt over causing trouble for the bakery owner, and Takahiro falling sick had meant little sleep for Misaki over the past few weeks.

But still, he had hoped that his results would be better than what he had gotten. It was frustrating that his grades in Mathematics and English never seemed to reflect the effort he put in; yet the thought of _not_ getting into the business faculty at Mitsuhashi University; of _failing_ Takahiro's dream, made Misaki's stomach churn. He didn't think he'd be able to live with himself if he failed.

Swallowing tightly, he shoved the results script into his pocket as he neared his home. Turning the handle, he opened the door.

"I'm ho…"

The words died on his lips as the scene in front of him made him _stare_. His brother; his _in a relationship_ brother, stood in the middle of the hallway, an ash blonde man draped on top him languidly, leaning forward slightly, an inch away from his _in a relationship_ brother's lips.

Takahiro's face turned towards his with an innocent smile.

"Oh! Misaki! You're home!"

Violet colored eyes turned to him in a glare, making Misaki flinch back reflexively as his body froze under that gaze.

His brother, unaware of his surroundings continued on with a smile.

"Welcome back!" he said cheerfully. "Let go of me now Usagi-chan!"

'_Rabbit?' _ choked Misaki on his thoughts.

"Nii..Nii-san… you…" _Manami…_

"Your kid brother?" he heard the stranger ask. His voice was deep and silken, with a questioning lilt and a dangerous edge.

Takahiro replied in the affirmative before introducing the frozen Misaki to the man, _whom was still draped over his older brother_.

The man hmm-ed in response and his face twisted into a sneer.

"You are very different." He smirked.

The comment was enough to shock Misaki out of his daze, and he flushed in shame. The way the man had said it…it wasn't a good thing. The piercing gaze never left him and the man had simply snorted in what Misaki thought to be derision, before leaving without so much as a goodbye.

"Nii-san…that man…"

Takahiro smiled.

"Usagi-chan is quite the character isn't he? But anyway, he agreed to be your tutor!" his brother finished ecstatically. "He's brilliant you know. He use to live in England so his English is perfect, and his math use to be the top in the school. He was willing to teach you for free, so make sure you work hard!"

Misaki swallowed.

"I…see…"

"You start tomorrow. He lives in Azabudai, in that apartment building near the park. I'll give you the address. He told you to let yourself in if he's not home. Just head over there after school."

Misaki gritted his teeth. The man gave him the creeps. Especially the way he had been acting around his older brother. But he was Takahiro's friend, and it was clear that they were close…

"Could you tell me more about him?"

* * *

><p>Misaki scowled up at the hideously large apartment complex. Clearly the word 'subtle' did not exist in the architect's head; and it would be foolish to assume that it would exist in the minds of any person who would choose to live in such a blatantly wealthy apartment building. The beautiful arched doorway framed by large paned windows, along with the immaculately kept lawn surrounding it, simply screamed of luxury.<p>

To say nothing of the security guard that had been shooting Misaki suspicious looks from the moment he had stepped onto the grounds.

Misaki hefted the pork soup onto his shoulder, hoping the Tupperware wouldn't choose today to leak on him. Shooting a grim smile at the daunting building, he shifted uncomfortably in his shoes. He didn't belong in a place like this.

'_I shouldn't be bringing pork soup to a place like this…'_ his thought bitterly. Yet, no matter what his brother said, his pride wouldn't allow Misaki to owe Usami-sensei so much without repaying him at least in some way.

The glares coming from the guard was increasing in intensity and Misaki grit his teeth in determination. Reaching deep into his well of courage, he pressed the doorbell and flinched back…at nothing.

Frowning, he rang the bell again. And again. And _again_.

Still nothing.

Scowling irritably, Misaki decided enough was enough and let himself into the large apartment complex, unlocking the door with the spare key his brother had given him.

The inside of the apartment was as lavish as he had expected. The white couch contrasted strikingly with the wooden floors and dark marble table. The man had two, _two_ living rooms, and the kitchen alone was larger than Misaki's classroom. From what he could see, there were several doors leading away from the spacious area that Misaki found himself in, and there was even a second floor. All this for one man.

Misaki's mouth twisted in chagrin.

'_I suppose some people are just different than the rest of us.'_ He mused silently as he placed the pork soup down on the table, situating it away from the packages on the table. Glancing down, Misaki noted the hastily scribbled note and the opened package of books.

'_The dance within the skies…_' he thought. '_I've seen this in the stores before. Not that I've had time to read it.' _

Busy he may be, but even Misaki would have to be deaf, dumb _and_ blind to not recognize the famous title that every second person seemed to be talking about.

"So he writes stuff like this…" he murmured out loud, carefully returning the book into the package.

Glancing over at the second opened package, he hesitated before curiosity overcame him. Gently pushing aside the brown paper, he gingerly extracted a slightly thinner book.

A quick look at the title cover and Misaki had to bite his lip to choke off his shout of shock.

'_Erotica?!'_

Being a healthy teenage male, erotica was nothing new to him. Goodness knows the stuff they passed around at school would make even the most sheltered of young men learn of the bountiful pleasures of Marutaka Manami's breasts. _Homosexual_ erotica, now that was whole new world that he had never thought to brave.

A sort of morbid curiosity filled him and he swallowed nervously. Glancing around guiltily, he flipped through the book quickly, catching snippets of plot here and there. Perhaps it was coincidence, perhaps it wasn't, but Misaki stopped to look at the rather provocative picture of two males making out, and in doing so, paused to read the text… and froze.

_Akihiko lightly pushed Hashiko* against the cool, wire mesh fence as lips clashed in a heated tangle. He could hear the irregular pulse of his heart beat in his ears. 'Nn…' moaned Hashiko as Akihiko sucked at his soft lips, holding his body gently with both hands. An endless rising of warmth pooled in his groin at the sound and Akihiko pinned the younger male's wrists against the fence…_

Misaki jaw dropped in horror as his eyes skipped ahead to the next page.

'_Come inside…Akihiko…' Akihiko laid his desire against Hashiko, bracing his arms next to the writhing body beneath him, he pushed in slowly. 'Nn!' the cry that fell from his lovers lips drove Akhiko insane as Hashiko arched against him. _

That was it. Misaki slammed the book shut, horror and disgust welled up along with a large heaping dose of anger. He didn't bother suppressing the snarl of anger that ripped through him.

"Get the hell up you bullshitting asshole homo novelist!" he screamed as he slammed open door after door, looking for the man he would rip into. "This novel's all about my brother and you! You bastard!" He was on the second floor now.

"What were you thinking?!" the anger was almost choking him now. He slammed the final door opened and took a step back.

The room he found seemed to be a bad crossover between a toy store, a haunted house and a store room. Toys of every imaginable type littered the floor haphazardly. Spinning aeroplanes swung from the ceiling. An electric train clattered round the room, spitting 'choo choo' noises every two seconds. Misaki stumbled back in slight fear as something _moved_ in the room. A low grunt sounded and a messy head of ash-blonde hair poked up through the bed sheets. Usami Akihiko, with his violet eyes and heavy bags glared a look of pure death at the stricken Misaki.

Misaki stood stock still for all of two seconds before his anger bubbled over.

"Look here!" he snarled. "The characters in this novel! It's my brother and you isn't it? You fucking homo!"

The man continued to stare at him, and Misaki faintly wondered if he had fallen back to sleep while sitting up. The thought only served to fuel his anger for the man and his voice rose.

'_If brother ever finds out he would feel so betrayed…'_

"Last time I saw you, I suspected you already!" he hissed as he threw the book in front of the impassive man. "Why were you embracing my brother?"

'_I hope Aniki never finds out…'_

"You make me sick" Misaki spat. "Don't even _think_ about tempting my brother."

'_If he lays one hand on Aniki…if he does anything to him at all…'_

"He's gentle and naïve, and don't you fucking dare take advantage of him!" screamed Misaki. His tirade came to an abrupt halt as a large hand crashed into the wall next to his head.

"Who…" growled the dark voice "…takes advantage of people?"

Misaki blinked in confusion.

"Eh? But.."

"Did Takahiro ever say someone took advantage of him?" snapped the bitter voice.

"Uh…no! But…"

'_even if something happened to Aniki, he won't share his problems with me…'_

"Anyway, just stay the hell away from him! Find someone else! As long as it's a man you don't care right?"

There are times in one's life, when you make a decision, say a word, breathe a sigh, and without you knowing it, it becomes the one action that changes your life. Looking back, Misaki often wondered if he had not said those hurtful, angry words at an already broken man, if things would have turned out differently. If perhaps things would not have spiraled out of control the way it did.

But he did say it. And things did.

And he wouldn't be aware of if, until he was pinned onto a bed, underneath an ash-blonde man ten years his senior, unable to escape; about three seconds after the words had left his lips.

* * *

><p>*<em>the name used in the original manga is 'kyoukou' which isn't technically wrong. But the reason for Misaki's horror, and why he blamed Usagi for using his brother's name is because Usagi was using it. Takahiro's proper name is<em>_高橋 孝__浩 __(Takahashi Takahiro). What Usagi used was__橋子 __(notice that he used the second letter?) which in japanese translates to Kyoukou instead. This is because Japanese kanji pronunciation changes according to context and the word before or after it. As it is, the translators were correct in using Kyoukou, but for the purposes of this fanfic's understanding, Hashiko makes more sense._

**A/N: Finally Akihiko's in the picture. But it's not pretty. It's fine from a bl/yaoi manga's stance, but has anyone else thought that their first encounter was rather blatantly…rape? I've always thought that Misaki's reaction to the whole situation was just FUBAR, but oh well, that's BL for you. Thanks for everyone who favourited and followed this story. Means so much to me. And thank you to Spockaholic for the incredibly kind review. I was smiling for days.**

**Please review (kinda sad there's only two but oh well.) fav and follow if you enjoyed the story. **


	4. Chapter 4: Misaki's choice

_Previously:_

_There are times in one's life, when you make a decision, say a word, breathe a sigh, and without you knowing it, it becomes the one action that changes your life. Looking back, Misaki often wondered if he had not said those hurtful, angry words at an already broken man, if things would have turned out differently. If perhaps things would not have spiraled out of control the way it did. _

_But he did say it. And things did. _

_And he wouldn't be aware of if, until he was pinned onto a bed, underneath an ash-blonde man ten years his senior, unable to escape; about three seconds after the words had left his lips._

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>: Junjou Romantica is owned by Nakamura-sensei.

**Warnings: **AU, presence of OCs, Misaki is slightly OOC, but within realms of possibility. Has drama and angst, but won't be over the top (maybe?). Will contain yaoi/BL. However, if you have an issue with BL, then you're in the wrong fandom anyway. Go away.

* * *

><p><span><strong>Chapter 4: Misaki's choice<strong>

'_At least the bed is soft.'_

Perhaps it spoke of the level of his shock that his first words had been a stuttered 'what?, and that the thought in his head had to do with the texture of linen under his fingers, rather than the harsh grip on his wrist, or the looming figure over him.

A dark growl snarled in his ear.

"What the hell do you know?"

"Wait a…"

"What the hell do you know about me and Takahiro?" the voice took on a gravelly tone and the fingers tightened.

The shock was wearing off and Misaki struggled against the body pinning him in place.

"Let go of me!"

He managed to wrestle his arm away and desperately crawled away from the man, fear surging through his body as he knew intuitively what would happen next. Afterall, this was a man who wrote homosexual erotica. It wouldn't be a stretch for him to…

Misaki swallowed and tried to crawl away, only for a large hand to grab his head painfully, shoving him into the mattress. The smell of sandalwood and spices assaulted Misaki as he struggled to breath. He desperately pulled his head up, gasping for air, only to be denied once more as the hand on his head ground him into the bed.

"Any man would do?" came the dull voice. Misaki barely heard the words as the hand released him and he shot up, sucking air into his lungs. Perhaps then, he would have heard the snarl of "you piss me off" coming from above him.

Arms encircled his waist, and a hand brushed against the front of his jeans. Misaki gasped and he shot an arm out.

"You bastard, what do you think you're do…"

A firm grip shot out to stop his flailing arms and he was once more flipped onto his front, arms pinned at his sides, an icy cold hand drifting underneath his shirt, sending shivers of fear and revulsion across his spine.

"Stop that!"

He was pulled against the hard planes of his attacker, a deep velvety voice whispering in his ear.

"Any man will do right? You said it yourself."

The man didn't say it, but Misaki was able to understand and hear the underlying words unsaid.

'_You were the one who provoked me. You want this.'_

Misaki jerked desperately, trying to reason with the older man.

"That's…not what I meant…" fear coloring his voice as a hand slipped further under his shirt, cupping his chin; lips too warm biting his ear, nuzzling into his throat, blowing soft puffs of warm air onto his skin, making him shudder. Misaki's fear had evolved into full blown panic as he gasped his refusal and curses between the shudders that wracked his body.

"Why don't you scream for help? Mr. D-grade _idiot_."

Before he could retort in anger, a hand slipped into his boxers, and gave the soft member there are firm pump, sending shocks of pleasure down his body.

Anger boiled in Misaki's veins as he bit his lip harshly to stop the whimpers that escaped him; hating his body that responded the physical stimuli of another _man_ touching him. He _would NOT _cry out. He wouldn't let the man take even that from him. He refused to lose to the indigo-eyed man, who was deftly playing his body like an instrument.

His arms were twisted behind him, not allowing him to move away. Pleasure shot through his body and Misaki wanted to moan and cry at the same time. He had never been touched like this before by another person; and it was easy to tell that his body responded to the stimulus. Misaki's hands clenched into the sheets, his nails digging into the palm of his hand as he hoped that the pain would distract him from the coil that was tightening low in his belly.

The hand gave a sharp twist, and a rub against the head and the coil in his belly _exploded_. Misaki's eyes closed as waves of heat wracked his body and his back arched. Misaki was _coming_; strings of white spunk covered the hand and the sheets below him.

"Hn…" the voice above him snorted in amusement. "You're quite cute aren't you?"

Misaki felt a bone deep ache settle into him as the weight above him eased, leaving him on the bed. Misaki tasted metal on his tongue, reminding him of the cheek he had bitten in the throes of pleasure.

Not wanting to spend any longer than he had to on a bed where he'd just gotten off in, Misaki scrambled off it, pulling his jeans up quickly as he went.

'_What do I do now?'_

Misaki glanced at the door.

'_Leave,'_ he decided. '_I need to leave NOW. And I need to tell Nii-Chan…'_

He almost sprinted from the room, but just as he touched the door handle a thought made him freeze.

'_What would Nii-chan think?'_

Takahiro. Sweet, gentle Takahiro. Who had few friends and almost never went out drinking. Who had turned down offers of hanging out to come home to eat dinner with him? Of whom Akihiko was perhaps the only friends Misaki had met.

The thought of telling and explaining to Takahiro why he was home early, the thought of making Takahiro _sad_ made nausea curl in his stomach. No. He couldn't tell his brother. He _wouldn't_ hurt Takahiro that way.

And Misaki ignored the small fear in his head that whispered that his brother wouldn't believe him. That he would take Akihiko's side. Misaki didn't want to live to find out. And it was easier to believe that he didn't want Takahiro to find out anyway.

Swallowing his pride and forcibly stopping the tremble that had developed in his limbs, Misaki descended the staircase, to find Akihiko sitting comfortably on the sofa, lounging with a cup of tea in his hands. When he noticed the young man at the stairs, he waved his hands towards the sofa opposite him, indicating his unspoken invitation. The same hands that had…

Misaki couldn't stop the red flush that overcame his face at the thought, the panic that he had squelched down into an iron box in his brain reared to come out, but Misaki forced it aside. Perhaps he would explain. Maybe there was a reason why Akihiko had…

"I'd always dreamed of living in a regular middle-class family home. I was trying to recreate what normal kids do in their childhood, so I started collecting various things, mostly toys, and it ended up like that. By the way," he indicated that large teddy bear that sat next to him. "This is Suzuki-san."

Misaki's mind was blank as he realized Usami-san had not, in fact, been trying to explain or even _blackmail_ him into not telling Takahiro about what had transpired. Perhaps that cockiness came from the absolute belief in his brother would trust him. Or maybe he just didn't care. Rage overcame his mind, and Misaki struggled to keep it from his face; something that he had much experience on given his upbringing. The nasty gossiping neighbors whom he was _forced_ to be polite to had given him plenty of opportunities to hone his technique. His time at the bakery working with difficult customers also helped.

The words and bitter assumptions that he had made were meant to _hurt_. He didn't care if it was true. Didn't think it likely. But Misaki just wanted to stop hearing the man in front of him talk. Because the man in front of him was acting like _nothing was wrong_.

He never expected his clichéd assumptions, straight out of a bad drama, to be _correct._ Never expected the blonde man to _agree_. Never expected Akihiko to hang his head and worry if Misaki would go to the papers.

And the worst part was, on some level, Misaki could feel the small sprouts of _pity_ for the man. For even Misaki had watched enough bad dramas to know that there was no happy ending.

But…knowing that Usagi-san had gone through what he had just done to Misaki, and likely at a younger age than he was…by someone whom he knew and trusted…Misaki wasn't sure if he hated him more or less because of that.

An awkward silence fell between them as Akihiko sipped his tea. Breaking the silence with a flat "Where are you aiming for?", the new topic of Misaki's impending university exams (along with the rather sore topic of Misaki's unlikely entrance into Mitsuhashi University) and the rather large argument it brought with it was enough to make Misaki return to his semi-normal self, as irritation at the derisive sneer on Akihiko's face was enough to drive Misaki to momentarily forget what Akihiko had done. It was only when Misaki had reluctantly explained his motivations for entering Mitsuhashi University, only when _Takahiro _was brought into the picture, did Akihiko relent and smile, reaching out a hand to ruffle Misaki's head, ignoring the slight flinch the action brought, and promised to make Misaki's dream come true.

Misaki left after that, agreeing to meet Akihiko in two days time, and glad that the time was late enough that if he dragged his feet to the train station, Takahiro would not think it strange if he arrived home.

* * *

><p>"I'm home." He called.<p>

"Welcome back Misaki! I've reheated dinner."

Misaki plastered a smile onto his face as he turned towards Takahiro.

"Thanks. You go on and start without me. I need to take a shower."

Takahiro frowned.

"Won't you have dinner first?"

Misaki swallowed.

"I've eaten. Usami-san had offered something before I left." He lied.

Takahiro smiled.

"That's nice of him. He really is a kind person isn't he?"

Misaki felt his gut twist unpleasantly and his smile faltered for a second before he nodded his agreement, not quite trusting his voice at that moment, and headed towards the shower.

* * *

><p>"Hey…Aniki, I've got a question…"<p>

It had been two days and the two siblings were having dinner. Misaki was playing with his food, pushing it round his plate.

"Hmm? What is it?"

Misaki swallowed. He would have to phrase it carefully to not arouse suspicion.

"There's been a rumor going round at school and it's been weighing on my mind."

Takahiro frowned.

"Well, rumors will be rumors. You should know better than to put much stock into them."

Misaki nodded in agreement.

"I usually don't, but I was just wondering you know? It's about this girl in 3-B who apparently got molested by her tutor, but everyone's saying that she provoked him, and so it was her fault."

Takahiro's face became stern.

"Misaki, I hope you know better than to spread those things around. The poor girl must already be in a hard situation."

Misaki raised his hands to placate his irate brother.

"I won't! I promise! I just heard it from Umaki-san. But I was just wondering…if she had provoked her tutor, then does it mean it was her own fault?"

Takahiro was already shaking his head before he finished.

"Misaki, there is no such thing as consensual rape or molestation. Ever. If one party doesn't want it to happen, then it's rape. No two ways about it. And it's wrong. It's not the girl's fault, no matter what she did or did not do."

The seriousness in Takahiro's voice made his opinion on the matter clear, and Misaki simply nodded and apologized.

* * *

><p>Lying awake in bed, Misaki reflected on what Takahiro had said.<p>

'_If one party doesn't want it to happen, then it's rape. No two ways about it. And it's wrong.'_

Misaki gave a groan and rolled onto his side.

'_I'm not a victim! I refuse to be one. So does that mean…that on some level, I wanted it?'_

He could still feel the ghostly imprints of the large, cold hands on his body, and Misaki had to resist the urge to take another shower.

Another thought crossed his mind.

'_Was this how Usami-san felt as well?'_

"_Then, you had a kind tutor who was like an older brother to you._

_He did some 'naughty' things to you, and you realized you were gay!"_

"_If that came out, the newspapers would be all over it."_

He felt like ass. Even though the thought of Usami hurting filled Misaki with some sort of vindictive pleasure, he still felt guilty at his inadvertent salt rubbing on Usami's wounds.

'_Maybe it's not completely his fault…'_ thought Misaki tiredly as he fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Misaki hated to admit it, but Takahiro was right. Usagi knew what he was doing when it came to tutoring.<p>

He gripped his latest results in his hands, slightly stunned at the improvement. Sure, he had more time to study and sleep, but the jump in his grades couldn't really be explained away by those factors alone. For the first time since they met, Misaki was glad that Usami was his tutor.

"Wow, Bs*. Good job!"

Misaki forced himself to ignore the dry sarcastic tone of his tutor. Nothing will ruin this moment.

"Well, you know, when I actually bother to try, it's easy for me."

His blasé tone irked Usagi, who frowned.

"Don't get carried away. You're still far from your goal. Pride before fall and all that." Despite his tone, there was a hint of pride as well.

"It's not pride if it's true. I'm just that good." Quipped back Misaki with a grin.

Usagi snorted in amusement as Misaki passed him the latest batch of homework for Usagi to skim through.

It felt surreal, thought Misaki, to be sitting here next to the guy who was in love with his older brother, yet molested his crush's younger brother, then agreed to tutor him, and the whole screwed up situation was all because of a shitty childhood.

Surreal didn't even begin to cover it.

But…Misaki didn't mind.

At first, when they started out with the tutoring, things were…difficult, to say the least. Misaki was jumpy and nervous, making him inattentive, which made Usagi irritated, causing the cycle to repeat itself.

Misaki had been waiting and dreading for Usagi to bring up the slightly touchy topic of their first meeting, but Usami had firmly acted like the whole thing never happened. And after the third tutoring session, Misaki deemed that Usami would likely never bring it up again, and the two settled into a semi-comfortable relationship, Takahiro the unspoken link that forced them together. The waspish comments and the snarky retorts had made way for sarcastic banter instead, and Misaki, against his wishes, found himself enjoying his tutor's presence.

"Takahiro will be thrilled, I'm sure." Usagi said. His voice breaking the quiet reverie Misaki had been reflecting in. The slight smile that appeared on Usagi's face made Misaki uncomfortable in a way he couldn't explain. Suddenly, his improvement in his grades didn't seem like such a good thing anymore.

Misaki squashed the thought immediately.

"I want to get you to pass and see him smile."

'_I was the one who worked to improve. Why is it always Nii-san who gets the attention? Do you not even see me?"_

A small,_ small _lump found its way to his throat, and Misaki swallowed, guilt rising as he tore the thought into molecular pieces and burned them.

"Do you really love him that much?"

Apparently the thought hadn't been pulverized quite enough and Misaki mentally banged his head against a brick wall at the words that had escaped him.

"What's with this all of a sudden?" came the evasive reply.

Misaki bit his lip. In for a penny, in for a pound.

"I'm asking if you love him."

"You have nothing to worry about. It's completely one-sided. That book was just my fantasy."

Perhaps it was the tone it was said in. The mild, still gentle, and almost fatalistic tone set Misaki's teeth on edge.

_No one should sound like that when talking about their own pain._

"But, you know, he's got a girlfriend already."

"Yeah, I know. But being able to stay beside the one you love is the privileges of being a friend."

Misaki felt numb. Because the great Usami-sensei had acknowledged being second place to someone. Because the man was sitting there, shuffling through math questions, and talking about his one-sided love of a man like he was talking about the weather.

Perhaps he was in shock, for there was no other explanation for the comment that left his mouth.

"If you really love him, you should just shove his girlfriend out of the picture and make yourself his number one."

Usami gave a dry chuckle.

"You really are young."

Misaki scowled at the reminder.

Usami continued.

"He means the most to me. That's why I don't want him to hate me."

And that was the crux of the matter. The reason why Misaki was unable to truly hate the man in front of him. Despite everything he'd done, Misaki was unable to hate a man that loved his brother so deeply. Because Misaki knew, with a younger brother's intuition, that Usagi would never do anything to intentionally hurt Takahiro. Because Takahiro was number one person in life. Because Takahiro was Usagi's everything.

_And Takahiro would never know._

The thought made Misaki's eyes clench and a sharp pain shoot through his heart. Scowling at his own unbidden sympathy, Misaki turned back towards the desk.

"What an idiot." He muttered under his breath.

_Since when did I want Usagi to stop hurting?_

* * *

><p>*I know in the mangaanime Misaki started out with Ds, then Cs and Bs, but I'm taking a bit of writer's license here, and saying he started out with Cs.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: chapter 4! Sorry for (kinda) late update. Exams are coming up soon, so this will be the last update for a while. I estimate next update around December? **

**So far the story has been following canon very closely. Much of the events and conversation come directly from the anime/manga itself. However, this will change soon. I have plans for Misaki and eventually the story will become AU. Certain aspects of the story will progressively become darker, but I promise a happy ending. Won't be easy as bother characters have **_**many issues**_** they need to deal with, but it'll happen. **

**Please fav and follow if you liked it, and review!**


End file.
